It's lovely. I only found this to be out of place.
"The problems are hard. Knowledge of governments, science, and people are needed. I learned
some things in my life, but I made many mistakes and did not communicate well. But it is
possible that young people may learn something useful from my experiences."
Unfiltered feedback, offered in love:
1) The repetition of the word 'but' is distracting. It also seems to imply a fatalistic outlook of doom. Of course young people will learn tons from your experiences. Everyone has already learned a lot from you. What you seem to be implying is that maybe young people will ignore your warning or repeat some mistake of yours? They won't have that option when they are already fleeing climate change and revising their planned place of domicile to account for extreme weather events as their economic options narrow. It's not the young people who are the problem. It's the old people who want their privilege to persist in perpetuity. It's always the old people at fault. Young people will need to work their way around the old people. They'll absolutely do that, especially when the old people are dying off from age, pandemic, and heat stroke in a warmer wetter world. This problem will sort itself out one way or the other, and the oncoming storm actually helps sort it by weeding out the problem of fossil brains in a fossil economy. A little bit of catastrophe goes a long way.
2) Don't start a sentence with the word 'but'. Sentence fragments are unbecoming of a climate scientist. It doesn't add any 'folksy field' vibe, rather the grammatical lapse just distracts from the message. Your plainspoken, direct, economical, and dispassionate style is all that is required to carry your message adequately, and you are doing a marvelous job of it.
3) The self-deprecation seems contrived and insincere. You participated in the founding of climate modeling and testified before Congress as the first climate scientist to officially warn our elected representatives of the dire danger we face. You did so at amazingly young age and are obviously brilliant even at an advanced age. You don't have a thing in the world to apologize for, even if you feel a need to humble yourself and feel like you failed in your objective to keep your granddaughter safe because so many of your peers belittled your contributions and your edgy warnings. Your best is good enough. It's a lot better than nearly anyone else could have done, given that most of us can't grasp the science let alone communicate it effectively to people who have to take it on faith. You did fine. I've read several of your papers and even when I can't follow the math I have zero problems following the text because you are detailed and meticulous. There's never any confusion as to what you mean and that gives me tremendous confidence in your work because it demonstrates that you don't have any confusion in your mind about your message either.
I installed panels for the first grid-connected solar PV neighborhood in the world in 1985. I don't feel any need to humble myself or take personal responsibility for failing to achieve my goal of saving the world from fossil fuels that I adopted in 1978, even before the formation of the IPCC. These things are far bigger than any individual. I'll never apologize for failing to save everyone regardless of how desperately I want a better world for my own children.
The issue is spiritual and systemic, not personal. It would seem very odd of me to take any blame for my failure when I did my absolute best, as I am sure that you did also. It is enough to know that you did your best without adopting an apologetic tone for whatever failures might be bothering you.
Nobody cares if you pissed someone off or gave the wrong impression or talked over someone's head or failed to speak out once or twice or used slightly strong language or even got something wrong sometimes. You're a legend and what we most want from you is acknowledgement of our own struggles as well because what makes us all kin is our humanity, our hope, and our fear, not our regrets over perceived missed opportunities that are all unique to each individual. You already are giving us what we want and what we need. We don't want or need an apology from you for being marvelous.
Please consider improving the tone and grammatical competency of your closing paragraph to the preface. Make it a springboard into the main text rather than a cold shower. The topic is already gloomy enough without brooding over it. Focus on the main objective which is motivating the reader to go jump in with both feet somewhere and make a difference. What magic words at the end of the preface will make the reader want to get more involved? Use those, in the same superbly relaxed and confident tone of the rest of the preface. That will help keep the pace of the page-turner going through the transition into the main text.
Disclaimer: I'm not an English professor. I'm just another depressed busybody trying to be helpful and I've been accused of being opinionated on multiple occasions. I hope it helped. If it didn't, disregard.
PS: Is the original first post still available? I'd love to read the rest of what you pre-released. Looking forward to a public book signing. If I can get there, I'll be there.
All my best and thank you so much for your service Dr. Hansen. We are all improved for having you in our lives. I hope to thank you in person some day.
It's lovely. I only found this to be out of place.
"The problems are hard. Knowledge of governments, science, and people are needed. I learned
some things in my life, but I made many mistakes and did not communicate well. But it is
possible that young people may learn something useful from my experiences."
Unfiltered feedback, offered in love:
1) The repetition of the word 'but' is distracting. It also seems to imply a fatalistic outlook of doom. Of course young people will learn tons from your experiences. Everyone has already learned a lot from you. What you seem to be implying is that maybe young people will ignore your warning or repeat some mistake of yours? They won't have that option when they are already fleeing climate change and revising their planned place of domicile to account for extreme weather events as their economic options narrow. It's not the young people who are the problem. It's the old people who want their privilege to persist in perpetuity. It's always the old people at fault. Young people will need to work their way around the old people. They'll absolutely do that, especially when the old people are dying off from age, pandemic, and heat stroke in a warmer wetter world. This problem will sort itself out one way or the other, and the oncoming storm actually helps sort it by weeding out the problem of fossil brains in a fossil economy. A little bit of catastrophe goes a long way.
2) Don't start a sentence with the word 'but'. Sentence fragments are unbecoming of a climate scientist. It doesn't add any 'folksy field' vibe, rather the grammatical lapse just distracts from the message. Your plainspoken, direct, economical, and dispassionate style is all that is required to carry your message adequately, and you are doing a marvelous job of it.
3) The self-deprecation seems contrived and insincere. You participated in the founding of climate modeling and testified before Congress as the first climate scientist to officially warn our elected representatives of the dire danger we face. You did so at amazingly young age and are obviously brilliant even at an advanced age. You don't have a thing in the world to apologize for, even if you feel a need to humble yourself and feel like you failed in your objective to keep your granddaughter safe because so many of your peers belittled your contributions and your edgy warnings. Your best is good enough. It's a lot better than nearly anyone else could have done, given that most of us can't grasp the science let alone communicate it effectively to people who have to take it on faith. You did fine. I've read several of your papers and even when I can't follow the math I have zero problems following the text because you are detailed and meticulous. There's never any confusion as to what you mean and that gives me tremendous confidence in your work because it demonstrates that you don't have any confusion in your mind about your message either.
I installed panels for the first grid-connected solar PV neighborhood in the world in 1985. I don't feel any need to humble myself or take personal responsibility for failing to achieve my goal of saving the world from fossil fuels that I adopted in 1978, even before the formation of the IPCC. These things are far bigger than any individual. I'll never apologize for failing to save everyone regardless of how desperately I want a better world for my own children.
The issue is spiritual and systemic, not personal. It would seem very odd of me to take any blame for my failure when I did my absolute best, as I am sure that you did also. It is enough to know that you did your best without adopting an apologetic tone for whatever failures might be bothering you.
Nobody cares if you pissed someone off or gave the wrong impression or talked over someone's head or failed to speak out once or twice or used slightly strong language or even got something wrong sometimes. You're a legend and what we most want from you is acknowledgement of our own struggles as well because what makes us all kin is our humanity, our hope, and our fear, not our regrets over perceived missed opportunities that are all unique to each individual. You already are giving us what we want and what we need. We don't want or need an apology from you for being marvelous.
Please consider improving the tone and grammatical competency of your closing paragraph to the preface. Make it a springboard into the main text rather than a cold shower. The topic is already gloomy enough without brooding over it. Focus on the main objective which is motivating the reader to go jump in with both feet somewhere and make a difference. What magic words at the end of the preface will make the reader want to get more involved? Use those, in the same superbly relaxed and confident tone of the rest of the preface. That will help keep the pace of the page-turner going through the transition into the main text.
Disclaimer: I'm not an English professor. I'm just another depressed busybody trying to be helpful and I've been accused of being opinionated on multiple occasions. I hope it helped. If it didn't, disregard.
PS: Is the original first post still available? I'd love to read the rest of what you pre-released. Looking forward to a public book signing. If I can get there, I'll be there.
All my best and thank you so much for your service Dr. Hansen. We are all improved for having you in our lives. I hope to thank you in person some day.
Thank you your work making people aware of our predicament is valuable.